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All the hassle and stress of getting to the church, of finding a place to park, of dressing up nice with a tie and super-smart shoes, of meeting family that you haven’t seen in years or people who you haven’t met ever, of standing in the rain and of sitting on a hard wooden bench are forgotten when the music plays and the bride walks down the aisle in a stunning white dress.
Seriously, why stress when people look that pretty?
* * *
Being in a church and dealing with religion for the first time in a long time, I am struck with two thoughts.
Half of me is admiring the beauty of it all. They’ve really got that stained glass technique down.
The other half is despairing at the maddening nature of religion to give all credit to a god, that may or may not exist.
In the opinion of the priest, god wanted to show that he loved the bride, so he introduced her to the groom. Then, because he wanted to show his love for the groom, he introduced her to the bride.
Now, as nice a romantic notion that story is, it totally negates the first date, the nerves of the first kiss, the little gifts and the ‘I love you’, the hugs, the tears, meeting the friends and meeting the parents, and the proposal; all of which are infinitely more complicated and therefore mean so much more in the grand romance scheme.
Why would two people want to give someone else credit for the love that they show each other?
* * *
Also, the priest looked like Stephen Fry, if his face had melted a little bit.
* * *
A good way to sing hymns and pray, whilst simultaneously not taking part in the religious aspects, is to replace the words ‘God’, ‘Jesus’, and ‘Lord’ with ‘Chuck Norris’. Works wonders, I tell ya!
Also, everything still seems to make sense.
* * *
Advantage of a four-star hotel: The comfiest bed in the world!
Disadvantage of a four-star hotel: Pint of cider for £3.10.
Advantage of a four-star hotel: Gorgeous food and plenty of it.
Disadvantage of a four-star hotel: Pint of cider for £3.10!
Advantage of a four-star hotel: Friendly (if a little camp) staff that even manage to smile in the early hours of the morning.
Disadvantage of a four-star hotel: Seriously, a pint of cider was £3.10!
Advantage of not having a job: I didn’t pay for a single pint.
* * *
What is the chief bridesmaid’s job again? You know, beyond trying not to look prettier than the bride.
* * *
Tip for anybody getting married: Hire a Master of Ceremonies who gradually changes into camper and camper costumes over the course of the night. Not only is this entertaining to watch, but it also annoys the homophobic amongst the wedding party.
If anyone cares, he ended the night in a skimpy dress.
* * *
But my final thought on the weddings is this: only one thing matters. You can get rid the disco and the fancy food, the high priced alcohol and the pretty clothes, the speeches and the religion, and even the guests. It can rain or snow, thunder and lightning or shine in a sunny way.
As long as you are standing next to the person you love and you get to say two very important words, than it’s all worth it. The kiss is just the icing on the cake (Yeah, you don’t need a wedding cake either)
At least in my opinion.
:D
Seriously, why stress when people look that pretty?
* * *
Being in a church and dealing with religion for the first time in a long time, I am struck with two thoughts.
Half of me is admiring the beauty of it all. They’ve really got that stained glass technique down.
The other half is despairing at the maddening nature of religion to give all credit to a god, that may or may not exist.
In the opinion of the priest, god wanted to show that he loved the bride, so he introduced her to the groom. Then, because he wanted to show his love for the groom, he introduced her to the bride.
Now, as nice a romantic notion that story is, it totally negates the first date, the nerves of the first kiss, the little gifts and the ‘I love you’, the hugs, the tears, meeting the friends and meeting the parents, and the proposal; all of which are infinitely more complicated and therefore mean so much more in the grand romance scheme.
Why would two people want to give someone else credit for the love that they show each other?
* * *
Also, the priest looked like Stephen Fry, if his face had melted a little bit.
* * *
A good way to sing hymns and pray, whilst simultaneously not taking part in the religious aspects, is to replace the words ‘God’, ‘Jesus’, and ‘Lord’ with ‘Chuck Norris’. Works wonders, I tell ya!
Also, everything still seems to make sense.
* * *
Advantage of a four-star hotel: The comfiest bed in the world!
Disadvantage of a four-star hotel: Pint of cider for £3.10.
Advantage of a four-star hotel: Gorgeous food and plenty of it.
Disadvantage of a four-star hotel: Pint of cider for £3.10!
Advantage of a four-star hotel: Friendly (if a little camp) staff that even manage to smile in the early hours of the morning.
Disadvantage of a four-star hotel: Seriously, a pint of cider was £3.10!
Advantage of not having a job: I didn’t pay for a single pint.
* * *
What is the chief bridesmaid’s job again? You know, beyond trying not to look prettier than the bride.
* * *
Tip for anybody getting married: Hire a Master of Ceremonies who gradually changes into camper and camper costumes over the course of the night. Not only is this entertaining to watch, but it also annoys the homophobic amongst the wedding party.
If anyone cares, he ended the night in a skimpy dress.
* * *
But my final thought on the weddings is this: only one thing matters. You can get rid the disco and the fancy food, the high priced alcohol and the pretty clothes, the speeches and the religion, and even the guests. It can rain or snow, thunder and lightning or shine in a sunny way.
As long as you are standing next to the person you love and you get to say two very important words, than it’s all worth it. The kiss is just the icing on the cake (Yeah, you don’t need a wedding cake either)
At least in my opinion.
:D
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