Hungover Memories

I awoke groggily and for a brief moment I didn't know where I was. I wasn't in my bed. I wasn't even in a bed. I was on the floor, in a sleeping bag. In two sleeping bags, as a matter of fact, but that does little to change the story. I was still wearing the clothes from the night before, except my coat which, I discovered later, was hung on the back of a chair.

Memories and facts and my life came flooding back to me. Of course I wasn't in my bed! I was 250 miles away, in Southampton. The floor I slept on belonged to Emma. The sleeping bag, indeed both of them, belonged to Emma. The house belonged to Emma if you ignore the fact that she has to rent from the real owner.

Emma herself was in her bed, where she should be. Next to her was Megan, technically also where she should have been, considering the fact she called shotgun on it the night before.

Both were awake and talking. What they were saying isn't important, only that they were piecing together the night before. Memories weren't in high supply on that bed. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you see the memories, I remembered.

I clambered out of one sleeping bag, rolled it up and used is as a makeshift pillow. I briefly wonder why I didn't do this before, but I must have found a way to sleep, otherwise I wouldn't have started this with the words 'I awoke'.

My head feels achy. I shake it to see just how much it hurts. Not a lot, but I'm sure time will sort that out. My stomach makes noises that, if translated into English, would mean "What are you doing to me, silly boy?!"

And my stomach would be right. I had been just as cruel to it the night before. My first night in Southampton was celebrated with cans of cider and later, at a pub called 'The Hobbit', pints of cocktails. Whiskey and vodka and rum and cider and all manner of other spirits meant that after getting back home (Emma's) we were pretty damn tipsy and in possession of a stolen brick.

So we sat and talked. We ate bagels with cream cheese and ham. Faye, who I now realise hasn't been mentioned yet but who was also there, hijacked my blog. And in the early hours of the morning I must have passed out on the bed.

I awoke next to Emma a little later. I was fully dressed, half covered in a quilt and next to a cold wall. I was also faced with a dilemma. The sleeping bag I was supposed to be sleeping in was underneath Faye which meant, unless I was mean enough to wake her, I was to sleep next to Emma. However, unless I woke her, or at least risked it, I was going to be half-covered and cold.

Luckily, this problem was solved on my return from a toilet break, as Emma had moved just enough to allow me access to more quilt. So I clambered in and fell asleep.

I remained fully clothed though, because a) it was warmer and b) awaking in your boxers next to a girl is the outcome of a successful date and, as far as I was aware, this wasn't a date. Therefore awaking next to a girl in your boxers was a little odd and probably unnerving for the girl. I'm just a gentleman and one day it will be my downfall.

But anyway, I did make up for this night of gluttony by repenting the next day. I learnt stuff from magazines, I enjoyed a long, relaxing shower and I ate fish and peas which can only be said to be healthy.

But it seems I was only lulling my body into false security because it was less than twenty-four hours that I fell back off the wagon once again. Faye left and was replaced by Megan and the drinking began again.

I could regale you with a chronological list of what was drunk and you may be a little shocked. I could tell you what was done when, or close to when as alcohol has a habit of bending time to its will, but that would be boring to write and boring to read.

I will tell you that I met Gavin, a colleague of Emma's and Katie, a housemate of his. I'd like to be able to tell you more about them, but the only remembered fact is that they were nice.

I will tell you that it was only £5 entry to the club but only 50p for a pint, which tells you just how easy it was to get drunk in that place.

I'll say that there was a queue to the boy's toilet, a fact made even weirder because I was queued next to a man in a dinosaur costume. I may or may not have spoken to him.

Emma and Gavin "enjoyed each other's company" which was strangely both predictable and surprising at the same time.

With Megan and Katie, we travelled to Katie’s house after being abandoned by the happy couple. We sat on a bed, Megan wrote Gavin a note and we got a taxi back.

Megan asked the Asian Taxi driver if he was Irish.

And that was the important stuff to happen in the night.

We got back to Emma's and rang her, whilst Megan pressed repeatedly on the doorbell. Emma answered sleepily and told us she was going to "put us in her drawers" and never explained herself. It was left to her housemate, awoken by Megan's crazed doorbell ringing, to let us in.

We found Gavin passed out on the bed, fully clothed. Clearly, he follows the same code of boxer etiquette I do. He left, and Megan took his place (although she did briefly forget where the bed was and needed me to tell her) and we fell asleep. Well, Emma was already gone so she didn't have to fall anywhere.

And now we get back to the beginning of the story and also the end of the story. I explained what I have written above to Emma and Megan. There were gasps and "Did I really do that?" and "Oh, I sort of remember that" and then it was over. Some of it was remembered and most of it was forgotten, especially by Emma.

And now you know what they found out. Or you are them. Either way, now that I've told the story I'm going to do what I did after telling the same story then: Go back to sleep.

And by 'Go back to sleep' I mean go and do some work.

:D

http://thenightshedied.deviantart.com/art/memories-59562410