All About Eve

Billy stood on the castle wall. He was going to jump.

The reason for the suicide threat was standing below him: Me and a girl called Lucille. Black hair and freckles, Lucille was cute. But hell, I'm biased. After all, she was holding my hand.

I don't remember whether Billy was dating her at the time or whether he just liked her a lot, but the fact was that I had stolen her from him. Which is why he climbed to the top of a castle and was now threatening to jump off.

It might be a good idea to explain that we were six at this time. The castle was wooden, and it would probably come to head height if I went back to it now. But to a six year old, the danger was there. We tried to talk him down.

I'm afraid I must abandon Billy now, feet nearing the edge of the castle, and instead travel back to the beginning of time. It's quite a leap, so bear with me.

Adam, the first man, was enjoying the Garden of Eden. It had everything he could want. Sunshine, tasty food and a beautiful wife to share it with. He closed his eyes in satisfaction, and breathed in slow. Life was good.

"Hey honey" Eve whispered, gently into his ear. He smiled and opened his eyes to see her. She was all beautiful: black hair and freckles. In her hand she held an apple, red and shiny like the end of a certain reindeer's nose. She polished it against her...well, her skin, since she was naked.

Everyone knows the rest of the story. Eve convinces Adam, with her womanly charms (AKA breasts), to take a bite from the apple. God appears and banishes them both from the garden of Eden, despite Adam's protests that she started it. In the real world, they don't like being naked and they die. Life becomes pretty miserable for Adam.

And this isn't the only time in history this kind of thing has happened. Samson was tricked by Delilah into giving away his 'Achilles hair'. Cleopatra two-timed Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony, essentially bringing down the Roman Empire. Buffy stabbed Angel and sent him to hell.

There exists generation after generation of females who ruin men, break their hearts and spit on the remains. And yet every single generation of men still wanted to be ruined, wanted to risk broken hearts. Why, I ask?

The simple answer is evolution. Surely all men are designed for is to eat enough to survive and spread their genes as much as possible. This usually involves some kind of basic interaction with women, I guess. It is very hard to procreate without a simple 'hello'.

But surely we've reached a stage now where we can produce all our babies in tubes and be done with the whole social scene. We could all hang around in single sex groups and avoid ever having to talk to girls. Surely as humans we should be taking the path of least resistance?

But no, we can't. Because girls are pretty. For every person that turns you down for a date, there's another who kisses you and makes you forget all the hurt girls can cause. For every suicidal Billy, there's a me, holding a girls hand and feeling like a king, even at such a young age.

Billy didn't die, by the way. I'm fairly sure that a teacher came and told him to get down and stop being so silly.

So I guess boys will always chase girls, despite all the trouble. Because in the end, it's all worth it: for her hand slipping into yours, for her snuggling next to you on the sofa, for her kiss, for...well, I hear sex is pretty good.

It reckon it will be our downfall though.

:D

PS: I am aware the same post could be used for boys. But I'm a boy, so girls are my major issue.

PSS: I'm not sure whether Eve would actually be naked at the point I said she would be. Surely after eating the apple, she got modest and put some clothes on. Don't know what this didn't hint to Adam that something was wrong.

PSSS: The Billy story may not be true. It's a memory, sure, but I don't know how much was me filling gaps in my head. But I've never let reality get in the way of a good story. Or a sub-average one as the case may be.

http://karineko.deviantart.com/art/Cute-girl-in-corset-CG-d-25845566